With your candid actions
Not your conniving words
With your naked emotions
Not your numbing carcass
With your brute presence
Keep your glittery offerings
Knock on my door
With open arms
And nothing more
Than your heart
On your sleeve
Then we can embrace
As true friends
And nothing more or less
Are you a friend?
These days, it seems people throw the word ‘friend’ around without really understanding what it means. I think a lot of people confuse friendship with companionship. While it is true that a friend can be a good companion, the reverse isn’t always the case. Maybe it’s the kind of maturity that only comes with age, but, I find that I don’t need a lot of friends in my life. I can count my closest friends in 1 hand and we don’t even keep in touch that much. But, it is the genuine kind of friendship where we can pick up the phone after years and continue exactly from where we left off.
You are not a loser.
I think shows like Sex and the City and Girls have us brainwashed into thinking that we need to belong to a sister squad where we bare our souls and seek approval on a regular basis. While, I think we need to support each other as women and stand up for our gender, we need to stop acting like teenagers and start taking responsibility for our lives as individuals and adults. Readers, if you have 1 close friend, I think that’s pretty much all you’ll ever need in life. I think this idea of girl’s night out and sisterhood only really happens in the movies. In the grown-up world, everyone is too damn busy to whoop it up, as they say, every weekend. There is absolutely nothing wrong in spending a Saturday night alone at home watching reruns of your favorite show. It’s only a problem if you’re doing it every weekend without wanting a change.
Get rid of the baggage!
Let go of those people who hold you back. Take a look at your friends, I mean really see these people for who they are. Evaluate them based on their actions not their intentions. Leave sentiment at the door. I have come up with a list of questions to ask yourself. Feel free to add your own in the comment section.
What value do they bring to your life?
What keeps them in your life?
What would happen if you couldn’t speak to them again?
Are you holding on to them or is the relationship truly mutual?
If so, when was the last time they called/saw you?
How many chances have you given them in the past?
I think we need to start acting a little more selfish when it comes to investing our time and energy into other people. We, humans, are genetically programmed to be social creatures and as women, we are especially vulnerable to being caregivers and nurturers. There is nothing wrong with it as long as we are making wise choices and setting clear boundaries for ourselves and others. Trim the fat and make room for the people who truly deserve your loyalty. Turn the page to begin the next chapter of your life.