What you seek is seeking you… Rumi

The cool copper flips between the calloused fingers
Back and forth; back and forth; back and forth
Go on; speak those words which hang on your breath
Like a garland made of wildflowers
Growing without boundaries in your mother’s garden
Go on; whisper the deepest desires of your gypsy soul
Those which divert your mind into mysterious pools
Of everlasting hope and fleeting anguish
Back and forth; back and forth; back and forth
Go on; char those vapid spaces encasing your existence
With the glint of your wicked smile and bargain over
Your own self until you own every last bit of it
Remember, what you seek is seeking you
Memorizing the patterns of your lost tradition
Writing your biography from each unspoken word
Like a wave it is rushing towards your homeland
So, go on darling; flip that lucky penny and say
Yes, yes, yes in all your distinctive tongues
Swim boldly into the baby blue and get ready to rock
Back and forth; back and forth; back and forth


The muscles in my back pull sharply, like an arrow
Creating a series of spasm like ripples beneath my lungs
I try reversing my back, like a bow, straightening my fibers
But the intensity does not let go
It somehow finds a way to escape down my thighs
And hide beneath the balls of my feet making me wobble a bit
This thing… it is suddenly alive and extremely nimble
As I struggle to find my balance, perched on my tippy toes
I feel it finally settle around the deep chasm of my pitted stomach
Like an underwater vent spewing bubbles into the ocean
It forcefully fills my divots with thoughts of you
Until they… I am totally submerged in the noxious air
My heart skips erratically trying to tip toe around
The memory of your question – do you miss me?
In spite of myself the arms flay as wide as they possibly can
In the final posture of ultimate defiance
Taunting the universe to enter through the precise hole
In my heart where the blunt pain you caused has left an intimate scar
No, but, it is too late to force me to stop thinking about you
And, the muscles in my back pull sharply, like an arrow…

I do.

I do
Do you remember when you carried me on your back?
When I was nothing more than a sack of salt
Dissolving into the vast blue ocean
You brought me safely to the shore when it was still dark
Leaving quietly before the dawn broke into a brilliant smile
I do.

Do you remember when you caught up with me?
Under a giant black rock in the green grass valley
When I was running barefoot in the rain
You gently shepherded me to higher ground with just a wink
And a glamorous smile
I do.

You’ve always been there for me, my friend
Bringing me the purest joy, never forgetting to sprinkle
Rainbow colored confetti over life’s lingering gray
Where would I be without your constant cajole?
What would’ve become of this wretched life had you not insisted
On saving me from my own disillusionment?
Love, my dearest friend, how can I ever thank you for loving me
And making me believe in your miracle?

Do you remember what you whispered in my ear?
Just before I was ready to let go of the rails
You packed my bags, practically ushering me out the door
Even then you knew what was best for me
You took my hand in yours firmly and said, I’ve got you!
I do.


We don’t own anything in this world
But, we hold on to so many things
We stake our claims on the generous offerings
Of the universe, placing stickers on her bounty
Like they can be bought and sold… like things
But we can’t.
So, we dwell in our little apartments, bursting at the seams
Unable to let go
We were young when we bought the big red bed
Which squeaked every time we turned our backs
To each other, but, I didn’t mind it a bit, dear
Because, I wanted something to break the silence
When we had used up all the real words in our supply
We tossed and turned a lot those nights, straining
To touch our toes under the rosy red cotton sheets
Hoping to drown out the sorrys, slowly moving
Towards each other with every little squeak
But, those are just twists on memory lane now
And, none of it really mattered much in the end
Because, you never owned up to any of your doings
And, you packed up your things and I took the bed
Because, You. Didn’t. Want. It. Anymore.
So, I painted it a fresh coat of white and changed
The sheets to a cheery yellow or blue or green?
It doesn’t really matter one bit, dear, because
We don’t own anything in this world
But, we hold on to so many things, bursting at the seams
Hoping they will make us happy one day
Unable to let go


The blossoms have arrived at my window
Nature’s dancers never tiring of the rhythm
Twirling their way into the dulling branches
Of the nearby apple tree
I witness their performance year after year
Still mesmerized by their instant manifestation
Little white bundles nestled between jade leaves
Coddling pretty yellow birds within its foliage
Brightening the hue of the faded scenery
I’ve watched the bare branches for weeks now
Withering under the brutal freeze
But suddenly, the blossoms arrive like a dream
Signaling the seasonal costume change
Spilling their secret fragrance into the air
The skies are bright and my mood is light again
New growth on old branches
The earth willingly endures it year after year
So, why can’t I?


I know, you can’t know what it means to be empty
Until you’ve scratched open a scar repeatedly
Just to feel something real
You can’t know about pain until you accept
That sticks and stones can hurt and so will words
They will cut even deeper, revealing
The shocking pink inside the inner muscles
Throbbing closer to your bone
You can’t comprehend the depths of loneliness
Until you call for me night after night
Knowing that I was only a brilliantly imagined spec
Designed to distract your sensibilities
You can’t keep lamenting the harrowing details
Of your tragedy, waving your hands up in the air
Like a drowning man
Or trying to wiggle your toes and fingers, like a baby
You can’t unthaw yourself by rolling your head
From side to side, straining to remember
The full range of motion you once possessed
Because, human, you can’t go back to your old life
To return anything you’ve taken for granted
Or fix anything you’ve broken
You can’t survive the sandstorm by burrowing
Your head in the sand repeating the Lord’s name
You are the child of the desert now and she has no mercy
Your entire human experience can shut down instantly
If you find yourself confronting her fury
If you choose not to believe in her awesome wilderness
So wake up and save yourself now!
You can only redeem yourself through your grace…
You can only stay alive from your love…

Who are you?

Every day I write in earnest
Revealing my yen on a backlit crystal
Knitting words together into a thick
Fuzzy blanket, keeping my toes warm
As my fingers continue to breathe
Every night I will you into my fantasy
And have my way, forgetting to sleep
Planning amazing adventures to distant galaxies
In my flannel pajamas
I hate to tell you, but every weekend
I speculate about your hidden position
Wishing I could somehow point my north
Like a compass, in your direction
Where are you?
What is your name?
One day when we finally meet
I won’t have to wonder if you’ll like me
I won’t have to worry what you’ll think of me
Because, it’s all here, my love
I’m peeling my layers on your screen
One by one, exposing my decadent underbelly
Caramelizing the fatty parts in natural sweetness
Tenderizing with salty sweat until every last bit
Is ready to fall off the bone
Every day I write in earnest…
Every night, I fall hopelessly in love again