Girl, Continuing…

I don’t usually write gut check posts. I write for the sake of writing, taking one fleeting thought and expounding on it. I churn words and somehow it ends up looking like butter. Sometimes it tastes fresh off the farm. Other times it just tastes like… um.. bacon. Go figure. But, this is a gut check moment.

Right now, I feel great! No, I feel freaking amazing! What’s different? The air? Or my breathing?

I’ve spent the last 4 years thinking about the HOW… How did I get here? How do I get over there? How can I grow? How can I become the best version of myself? How can I make the world see me? And, to be honest, there were times when I just couldn’t figure out how to move forward.

Now, I’m thinking about the WHY?!

Why am I here? Why do I want this? Why does it matter? Why should I do XorYorZ? And, most importantly, WHY NOT? See, that’s the beauty of life. When it improves, so do you… or is it the other way around? It’s cyclical and I’m not trying to explain it away. How could I possibly do? But, I can tell you, when you understand why, the how becomes easier to manage. Life no longer feels like work, it becomes a labor of love.
This is a real attitude change and it deserves to be acknowledged. It feels fresh and oh so sweet. But, it also feels strangely familiar. It feels like the perfect time to pause and say thanks to everyone who has had a hand in forging this transformation. I’m thinking about my future in terms of mastery and autonomy. I want to keep growing, keep learning… Keep moving forward on this path. I’m thinking about life as a vehicle and a corvette races into mind. I drove a silver corvette for about six months of my life and that’s how I learned to drive a stick shift. I was badass! But, I digress.

But, why the hell not?!

6 thoughts on “Girl, Continuing…

  1. csk

    In every battle there comes a time when both sides consider themselves beaten, then he who continues the attack wins. I am proud of you šŸ™‚

  2. csk

    I thought something else too ” It is the absence of enquiry that gives rise to actions that are harmful to oneself and to others, and to numerous psychosomatic illnesses”.
    Therefore, one should avoid the company of such unthinking people.

    1. BrownGal

      I think whatever this feeling is, it’s brought on by internal forces, not external. The environment plays a role… But the willingness to look at the world with fresh eyes day after day even when you don’t like what you see is something either you have or don’t. Psychosomatic problems are for the weak of mind, in my opinion, and I’m sure some people will disagree.

  3. VSK

    Love….unconditional love, no matter what we think of the other person, or,… what the world thinks of the other person….. if this arises within oneself, then that’s bliss! Go, keep looking!…. and grab it!

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