Nemesis

Nemesis
Another me still lingers here
Covered in cobwebs and clinging to the anomalous shape
Of you
You are me
When I catch you standing in the center of the room
Fearlessly singing the raag of the dawn
At dusk
You are me
When I feel the earth’s magnetism pulsating through my veins
As I strut under the sizzling sun
You are my Avatar
My daily manifestation of a staggering delusion
And, some days we are one like the smile of the Monalisa
Perfect from every angle
But, you are not me
When I catch you smirking
As I take three steps forward and one step back
Struggling to calibrate my center to the true north
You are not me
When you vanish into the dark as I’m calling for you
Repeatedly
Only to remerge as the golden sliver outlining the blue-grey sky
You are not me
In that shiny new skin, sweetheart
Artistically shuffled and edited to suit the latest trend
Because, if you look closely you’ll notice
My scars
I’m beautifully vintaged and smartly scratched
I only make sense to those who can read
Between these spreading laugh lines
You and I
We will forever be the sum of two equal halves
Never the whole

Grapevine

heartwater
I’ve held on to the face of happiness
Like a child clutching a teddy bear
For as long as I could
Unwilling to breakdown upon its grave
I’ve walked and walked for miles
In search of my feet
And, it wasn’t until I fully surrendered
To the road
That life decided to throw me a bone
And trap me in her intricate web of love
She crept into my extremities like a grapevine
Suffocating them one by one with her firm grip
Choking out the toxins for good
But, I didn’t die, not once
Not even when I couldn’t breathe
And long blue cracks started to appear
Along the surface of my golden mantle
Threatening to split me into two
Not even when bitterness enveloped me
Like an early morning fog
Determined to douse my glowing coals
She mercifully let me survive again and again
Just in the nick of time
At last when our eyes met
She smiled like my mother and said lovingly
Darling, how else can I let light in?

Beastie

leash
When you scratch the underbelly of a beast
Often, after an industrious day
You’ll be shocked to find its softness
Like a pile of loose goose down feathers
Ready to cradle your hard body
But, when you trace your palms up towards its heart
You’ll be stunned by its muscular enormity
Beating fast and trembling like a little babe
You’ll be startled by its ferocious roar
And equally astonished by its vulnerability
When it finally curls up into your arms
When you close your eyes and feel your way
Through the intricate maze of its organism
The limbs protruding like plastic mannequin parts
You won’t believe its rippling mass for a minute
You won’t comprehend its existence at all
Naturally, you’ll doubt everything you’ve learned
Overcome by a crippling alarm
Unless you’re able to keep your eyes open
When you come face to face with its gnarly mangle
Unscathed by its menacing growl
Boldly standing up against its insatiable myth
And seeing that you’re the one yanking its chain
This vicious beast is just afraid
Of you… its master and servant

Monkey Mind

raindrops lotus
Lean back into it, she says
Let your head roll back
But, sweat beads race into my nostrils
When I open my chest up to the sky
The air is stale in the heated chamber
And, I’m struggling to maintain my balance
To breathe…
The salt stinging my insides like acid
Causes my vision to blur
What’s happened has happened, she says
Make whatever comes next count
I can barely hear the words under water
For more sweat is bubbling up on my surface
Like raindrops on a lotus leaf
She pulls my shoulders back gently
With both hands
Breathe through your nose, she says
My weight, collecting in the gap of my thighs
Begin hitchhiking its way up my hips
And into the curve of my lower back
I could quit now…
My monkey mind begins to plot a coup
In an instant I could return to a child’s repose
I could comfortably surrender
Every last rigorous cell
Back to its original state of rest
I could be content with everything
I already have
But, my muscles stubbornly refuse to budge
My core, solid like a tree trunk
And my feet trembling, yet firm like a branch
Stay rooted to my big toe
As if anchored to the floor
Nothing is wrong, she says
You have come here with a purpose
And, you will leave here having succeeded
My breath escapes easily into whatever that follows
My eyes narrowing on the reflection in the mirror
Om Shanti, she says

Espresso

expresso

In your presence
My spine straightens naturally
And stands a little bit taut
Yet, somehow I still feel like a noodle
Loosely aware of the pink elephant
In the room
Like a child looking up in wonder
At a shiny new toy
I watch you weave in and out
Of the queue
You are a darling boy
And, my heart starts to spill
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Like a shot of espresso
The moment you catch my eye
Filling up the emptying vessels
Slowly seeping into my sanctum
Allowing me to percolate before
I fully awake
The aroma of your existence is exquisite
I can feel my senses brewing briskly
Like a light switch they turn on
Illuminating the musty attic
Of my subconscious
Flip.
Flip.
Flip.
The particles of your sheer energy
Have once again succeeded in filtering
My prism
And, they… no, you keep trying to burn
A hole through my lens
But, don’t worry I can no longer see
Your true colors
Your face is just a masterpiece
In black and white
Giving me nothing more
Than what I’ve asked for

A Miracle

tortoise
By stepping foot on this piece of land
I’ve imagined your darkest hour
I’ve witnessed your veins throbbing
In excruciating pain
I’ve experienced your colossal disappointments
One by one
At the deepest level
And tasted the sorrow of your tears
In the sticky air surrounding me
By choosing to walk in your grey shadow
I’ve willingly elected to be your demon
I’ve decided to devour your venom
And gobble up your greed
In one big gulp
I’ve secured a front row ticket
To your marvelous misfortunes, my love
Because, I love you more than anything
And, I will hurdle through any walls you build
I will fight any battle you wage
In order to save your soul
I will not rest until you’re safely in the arms
Of my grace
Protected by my unconditional love
By taking your hand in mine
I’ve unshackled you from these earthly bonds
I’ve forgiven your terrible transgressions
And healed you back into being
I’ve delivered you home
To your favorite spot under the Neem tree
Where sunbeams are readying
To spill their secrets
And the moon is eagerly anticipating
Your dawn
By choosing to trust me
You, my love, have humbled me
You’ve made me worthy of wonder
And praise
And, you’ve set yourself free

Halo

peacock
…see me in this color baby?
Fluttering away to the feral sound
Of your invocation
Like a tendril in the wind
Can you feel the mood of this thing
That follows me wherever I go
Filtering the dingy corners of my despair
Like a halo
Does it modulate the impression
Of your strongest desire for me
Waking you up in the middle of the night
In a cold sweat
With my name wetting your lips
And your fingers ready to dial my number?
Because, let me tell you a secret, baby
I’ve been in love with you
For as long as I can remember being
In this skin
In my own awkward kind of way
I’ve wanted to chime my fork with yours
Over homemade meatballs
Hoping to fill my gut with every last carb
Until it bursts with joy
I’ve been thirsting to drink your poison
Like a shot of aged blue whiskey
Without a chaser
Promising to hold your heart in my hand
Until sunrise… maybe forever
Whatever we can agree together
But first, do you…