A strange dichotomy of entrapments

In the end
I’d learned to let go of the things I’d wanted
Only to realize the ones
I’d rightfully deserved
So, I made a list and set about
Crossing them off one by one
Laying in the red dirt of the virgin earth
I no longer yearned for you
Still, I kept finding little pieces of your benevolence
Mixed with my tears
Washing over the empty spaces of my survival
In the end
I’d traced your grace
All the way back through my veins
And into my heart
Only to feel the molding
Around the throbbing parts of my boundaries
Like a cast
And, I knew then that it was left there
By you
To protect me
From the brutal impact of this journey
So, I vowed to spend the rest of the nights
Huddled under my grandmother’s quilt
Rearranging the unspoken words
That still lingered into a prayer
Readying to do anything
To be your everything
Just to make things whole again
But, in the end
All you ever wanted was my peace
In a fiercely protective kind of way
Even with limbs flying everywhere
And heart muscles brimming
With bloody gratitude
You wanted nothing more than
My joy…
My love…
Because, in the end
I realize that’s what you are!

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