Instead of playing I was planning for the day
When I would lose it all again
Like a mad woman, begging life
To stop ignoring me, I was moving my seat around
Making room for more and more
Urging the good bits to catch up with me
In all the voices except my own
But, when I found you vying in the middle
For the one thing that finally mattered
I was running out warnings
I was exhausting everyone’s words
I was ready to jump
Even though I had lost my wings
But, instead of falling I began to float
Somehow lighter, I was carried by the great wind
Sadness slips in through the creaks, so naturally
Like a master of this old house…
Why does it take me so long to root this joy?
Maybe around the bend there are untold horrors
Relishing in my greatest loss
And unimaginable secrets lurking in delight
Waiting to break my heart
But, this pleasure, today, this flight
This is my writing on the wall

(P)Lease Life

The skin is burning, love
Longing for your wet nose
And the spine tingles restlessly
From the burdens I have borne
I would give you my insides
And anything else I could lose
To lease a brand new life for you
I would stitch you up like a ragdoll
With my raw nerves
Combing all the little clots
With my brittle nails
Just to get you out of hiding
I would give you my all
To catch you waiting by my window
Without a care in the world
Doing figure eights around my tail
But, the heart is heavy, love
Stabbing like a thousand knives
Unwilling to read your fortune
I want you to curl into my right side
Like you always do
Purring your secrets into my soul
Night after night
Slowly going under cover
Until you rescue me


It wasn’t until my heart repeatedly
Snuck into the crook of your neck
And I inhaled the delicate scent of desire
That I felt sure again
Underneath the growing mass of adoration
Generating the heat of a million stars
I knew this is where I rest before
The sun comes calling
It wasn’t until my fingers intentionally
Locked into yours like a chain link fence
Fighting against the natural instincts to flee
That I felt safe again
Surrendering to the depths of eternity
Kindling the thrill of discovery
I knew this is where I launch
To find myself again
It wasn’t until I unwrapped the presents
-Even the bullions of blackness
And wagons of baggage-
That you brought me
That I became born again
Diving head first into the pool
Of massive devotion
Drenched in the caramel of dreams
I know this is where I end
And we begin

(W)Hole Hearted

It’s been getting harder to write…

I’m not a super busy person. I don’t have a husband or kid. (more on that later). I don’t have any particular hardships that could derail… I really don’t have any excuses. I just haven’t been sitting down to write. I haven’t been feeling like a woman possessed trying to wipe the slate clean night after night. I haven’t been compelled to pick up the pen to vent… to pine… to release… In short, I haven’t been caring about the usual things.

Instead, I’ve been preoccupied with living. I’m spreading steadily, recompartmentalizing my life, covering one block at a time. I’m falling in love. I’m still floating in air, partially untouched. I’m distracted by life’s twists and turns like a kid in a candy store. And, I’m slowly crumbling from the weight of it all.

2014 has already started with a bang and I’m wondering if any of this is worth sharing. If any of this should be communal at all?! One thing is for sure, I’ll be back… to find that book deal! I’ll find the right words again to describe the lowest common denominator.

In the meantime, here are a couple of poems to help fill in the gaps.