Somehow you made me believe
That I was a fish with feet
Waltzing to the sound of bubbles
Before I was even a recognizable thing
You tucked my tail into a bow
And watched me stumble
Somehow you turned my life outside in
And downside up
Teaching me to disobey, deliberately
Each and every instinct
Insisting on riding low
Piggy backing like a quack
Popping like bubble wrap
With feet crisscrossing above my hips
Even though you didn’t mean to choke
Your white knuckles cracked like clay
Around my neck
Dislodging the truth
Permanently stuck in my throat
Somehow I still have a memory
Of your malice
Under water, even while covered in algae
Somehow I can still trace your silk route
Right through my heart and into my gills
Inside the stickiness of my marrow
And the sweetness of my sorrow
Disguised in a shade of pure gold
As I swim around in circles
Shimmering like a fish

i.e. the perfect brown

I’ve had brownies on my brain for quite some time. Moist, rich brownies with a perfectly cracked crust that you simply can’t resist… The minute you sink your teeth into it’s delicious fudgy epicenter, you know you’ve entered a state of nirvana that can only be induced by cocoa. The Incas and Mayans understood its effects and used it to cure illness… just sayin’. I, on the other hand, only knew how to char them. Ah, the perfect brownie is a real work of art and it always eluded me… until now.

A few weeks ago, I got into a discussion about what constitutes the perfect brownie. A lot of theories surfaced about what should and shouldn’t be in a brownie. Some people were downright racist… and to them I say, give it a chance.  But, in the end, only 3 things withstood the test of time and I’m happy to share my findings with you…

  1. A perfect brownie must contain real chocolate.
  2. A perfect brownie must not contain nuts.
  3. A perfect brownie should not require icing or other embellishments.

Seems straightforward enough. Keep it simple, stupid has long been my motto, so I set out to find the perfect brownie recipe on pinterest. After a quick search, I found a recipe that contained the basics: flour, eggs, chocolate chips, butter, vanilla, salt and baking soda. Only problem was when I checked my fridge I realized that I didn’t have any eggs or butter.

Any good baker worth her weight in butter knows that applesauce is just as good in a pinch. If you don’t have applesauce, pumpkin puree works just as well. Phew, I was safe on both counts there, but is there a real substitute for eggs? I mean really? Well, apparently there is… I found a 14oz can of condensed milk in my cupboard and I did what any good baker without eggs would do. I used the whole can!

wpid-img_20140605_000026.jpgThe result… the most perfect brownies that were simply divine!  This really was the easiest and decadent brownie I’ve ever made. The crust was flaky and cracked and the center was moist and deliciously dense.

If you’re counting calories, please do me a favor and go buy the weight watchers frozen brownie. This brownie is not for you. This brownie is a real treat for a real woman, something that says… hey, go ahead and indulge yourself. Because, you deserve it!

i. e. Sena’s Perfect Brown Recipe:
3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/4 cup bittersweet chocolate
1 can condensed milk
2 tbsp applesauce
1 tsp vanilla essence
Pinch of salt

Sift together flour, baking powder and salt. Melt chocolate on low heat. Add apple sauce, condensed milk and vanilla. Remove from heat and add dry ingredients. Whisk, pour into a 8×8 parchment lined greased pan. Bake for 35-40mins @ 350 degrees. Cut while it’s hot, but serve at room temperature.