Vanity is Gray


Dear gray hair(s), your timing is impeccable! Thank you for showing up at this exact moment in my life when coloring is the farthest thing from my mind. I know you’re playing a joke on me for all those years of abuse, but secretly, I’m laughing with you. If you had shown up a few months back, you would’ve been obliterated in minutes. Seconds even. But, my body has been conquered by a squirmy little alien who care less and less about how I look on the outside. As long as I’m pumping my insides with fuel, he’s happy as a clam. How can someone so little be so hungry all the time??? I wonder as I stuff my face every day. But, I digress…
So, you see I have relinquished control over my body; surrendered to the madness of midnight cravings and secret junk food… I’ve no illusions of vanity anymore. It’s absolutely freeing! I know there are studies out there that claim hair coloring doesn’t endanger the baby, but, hey, I’m not taking any chances. Besides, I don’t have the energy to sit through a hair appointment anyway. So, you win… for now.
Unlike my alien, you showed up on head fully grown- root to tip. Yet, it amazed me at how suddenly you appeared and continued to multiply. You and your evil twin, wrinkles, are true partners in crime. But, don’t get too comfortable here. I have plans for you… watch out!

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