The last 100 days!

b74b28777d182bc4525aace37e911854.jpgIt’s hard to believe that I’m nearing the home stretch with this pregnancy. My pregnancy app says that I have a 100 days left till my ‘guess date’. That’s not a lot of time… yet, in some ways an eternity! Time is funny that way, isn’t it?! I’m not going to get hung up on an imaginary date.

My son will come when he is ready. I will not rush him. I will give him the space he needs to grow. His survival and safety are solely in my care and I will take good care of him by taking good care of myself. He is his own being and I will allow him to do things on his own, starting in the womb.

These are the things I keep telling myself… In spite of it all, a slight panic excitement has started creeping into my being. There is so much left to do… still. Yes, I know that babies don’t need a lot during those early days. But, I want to be ready, prepared, just in case he has other plans for us. is this what they call the nesting urge?

If you know me, then you know that I live off of lists… My notebook at work is full of lists of things to get done daily, weekly. I have sticky notes with song lists, grocery lists and things to buy lists etc. Here are some of the things on my to do list before baby Lelan makes his debut!

Get our finances in order– This one thing will give me the most peace during these last few months. We have enough savings and we know we can afford the baby, but we still haven’t worked out finer details. How are we going to handle new hospital bills? Should we start stockpiling diapers now? When do we sign up for insurance for the baby? When do we start a college fund? Can we afford a vacation next year? We just need to sit down with our accountant and hash this out.

Plan hospital visit– Every time we plan for this something gets in the way. One of the first things I want to do in February is check out both the nearest hospital and birthing center where my doctor has privileges. Once we have a comfort level on where we want to give birth, we can start to wrapping our heads around the idea of giving birth itself. 🙂

Finish setting up nursery– We have a room with a rug, curtains and a crib. This room also contains piles for dry cleaning, goodwill and other odds and ends. In other words, we have a room that is in chaos! Hardly the happy sanctuary I’ve imagined for my son. I have a small dresser that still needs painting and need to find a rocker/glider, crib sheets, and basically all those things that make a nursery, well a nursery. I just don’t want to wait until the last minute…

Finalize registry– I started working on my registry awhile back and have been going back and forth on the things I think we will need vs. want. The eternal conundrum! I’ve come to the realization that I really don’t want a lot of things for our son. Does a baby need a swing and a bouncer and a rocker? C’mon! I’ve been obsessed with reading baby blogs where parents talk about their must haves for their babies. I want to buy things that will grow with him. But, everyone has an opinion starting with how many bottles you need to what type of stroller you should buy. This whole experience feels like a shopping contest wherein if you aren’t registering for the right things, you’re somehow not serving you child’s needs properly. It’s mildly sickening. I really don’t mind buying gently used stuff from consignment stores (gasp!) and save a little extra cash. My baby’s not going to know or care one way or another.

Child-birthing classes– We were supposed to start a class last week, but my instructor cancelled due to lack of participants. Bummer. So, back to the drawing board and I think I have found an alternative… I will write a separate post on this at a later date. But, I’m really excited for this to start next month!

Sort and wash baby clothes– We have been fortunate in that so many friends and family have already donated boxes of clothes for Lelan. I just need to sort through them and figure out what I need first. This really belongs with setting up nursery, but since I hate doing laundry with a passion, it is another line item on this list.

Find pediatrician– I don’t even know where to start with this. I’m going to ask around for recommendations.

Write out birthing plan– My sister asked me if I had a birthing plan and yes, I have one… in my head. To be honest, I’m not ready to write my birthing plan yet. There are so many variables and I’m still coming to terms with them.

Finalize work transition plan– My boss and I have talked about this a little but there is still a lot that’s left unsaid. My hope is to work until I go into labor, but who knows what will happen?! I suspect this will all come together towards the end of my pregnancy.

Pack hospital bags– Seriously, when does one start packing for labor & delivery? What items are a must? I haven’t given this any thought, whatsoever…

Organizing the house– While this is an ongoing project, we need to clear some space for baby’s things in various rooms…. Like the kitchen, closet and bathrooms etc.

Phew! I feel like I’m forgetting something important. Nothing on this list is impossible, just a bunch of little things that need planning and preparation. And, writing them down is in itself the first step in managing the chaos. How we choose to perceive our world has a direct effect on how the world around us presents itself. If you think life is hard… then you will probably be sore from the up hill climb. But, if you shift your perception ever so slightly towards the center and take everything as it comes, then nothing can be sweeter or more enjoyable.

For any of the mommies out there with similar lists, I will leave you with a parting thought…


If any of you have any suggestions on my to do’s, please feel free to share… I love hearing from you!

I Love Dr. Google!

Do you remember what life was like before Dr. Google? I don’t…

With this pregnancy now in full force I find myself consulting the internet for every little thing.  Let’s face it, some things are just too embarrassing to ask another human being…

Here are my top searches this week…

How much weight should I gain in the 3rd trimester?Ryan Gosling

So far I’ve gained 25 lbs mostly in my belly, boobs and butt. Everywhere else, I look the same. My body is the shape of a pear… I kid you not! The weight continues to climb and honestly, I’ve stopped counting. I’m fully committed to this experience. According to Dr. Google, I should expect to gain a pound a week from here on out. Bring it on!

Should I be tracking my baby’s movements?

Apparently there are apps and websites dedicated to this phenomenon. Dr. Google says I should be monitoring my baby’s movement in the womb and recording them every day during the 3rd trimester. I downloaded a mobile app and tried to track it for a day, but it’s waaay too confusing. According to this website I should be counting up to 10 kicks a day to start building a bond with my baby.

7d45ac9cdbce084392d40b54ad39ed5cHow can I relieve my lower back pain?

It’s just in the last couple of weeks that I’ve started feeling aches and pains and it doesn’t surprise me one bit with all the extra weight I’m carrying. If you’re not already stretching, now is a good time start. Here are some wonderful stretches to incorporate into your nightly routine. I’ve been doing them with amazing results.

How do you fail a glucose screening test?

I had the dreaded glucose screening test earlier this week and let me tell you I was unprepared when the nurse called me to tell me I’d failed. What do you mean I failed? Does this mean I’m diabetic? Is my baby okay? Before I could formulate my questions, the nurse was asking me to come back for another test. Thankfully, Dr. Google came to my rescue. A blood sugar that is equal to or less than 140mg/dL 1 hour after drinking the glucose solution is considered normal. And, more importantly, 2 out of 3 women who fail the 1hr test come back to pass the extended 3hr tolerance test and most do NOT have gestational diabetes.

What’s up with these crazy pregnancy dreams?

Ryan Sleep

I never wanna wake up from this dream!

No one ever talks about this, but your subconscious goes into overdrive when you’re pregnant. I’ve been sleeping poorly, except for 1 day this week when I slept a solid 8hrs without waking. It was amazing! But, my dreams have been strange, unsettling and weirdly erotic. Some are borderline supernatural with angels and demons… I will spare you the details, but whoa! Apparently this is quite normal.

What strange things are you googling these days?

disclaimer: There are a lot of crazy, scary things online, so don’t believe everything you read and if you’re doubtful or simply freaking out, please call your doctor.

Baby Lelan- 23 Weeks!

I took a break from writing these updates because I really didn’t have much to report. I mean, who really wants to know how many times I woke up to pee in the middle of the night? Besides, it felt strangely like bragging when week after week I was proclaiming that I was symptom free, when some of my loved ones were struggling with their pregnancies.  I think I will keep posting as and when I have something to share…

grapefruit-medium.jpg.jpgHow far along? 23 Weeks! The number 23 is significant to me… because, duh, it is Michael Jordan’s number, need I say more? Secondly, it’s my brother’s & Swami’s birthdate. Lastly, the numbers 2 & 3 add up to 5 which is my lucky number. In fact, the thought of possibly having my baby on May 5th (05.05) has me slightly delirious. If you know anything about angel numbers and the significance of repeating 5’s, then you know what I’m talking about.

Total weight gain/loss: Roughly 17-18lbs. My weight gain has been steady, but it’s only in the last couple of weeks that I’ve started feeling noticeably big. Baby Lelan is approximately a foot long and weighs about a pound. He’s the size of a large grapefruit and he can hear everything. I’ve been going to the chiropractor once a month and I think I will start going more frequently in my last trimester. Also, my coworkers pooled in to buy me a pre-natal massage, which I’m dying to indulge in soon.

Symptoms: Fatigue and gas are my constant companions. Yeah, tell me again how beautiful pregnancy is. I can sleep anywhere during the day, but I stay up until mid-night every night waiting for my partner to get home. So, mornings are especially rough for me. In spite of it all, I feel blissfully excited all the time when I think about bringing a child into this world. I haven’t had any mood swings or emotional outbursts during this trimester. I don’t have any stretch marks, yet. My skin is glowing and my hair and nails are shiny and strong. I feel more beautiful than ever in my life, not counting the bags under my eyes. Seriously, this pregnancy thing is a walk in the park. I don’t know why I psyched myself out all those years ago.

Food cravings: Absolutely no cravings of any kind. Not even for Wendy’s chicken nuggets, which I think is a blessing. I eat whatever is available, whenever. I can eat spicy food with no issues, meat with no aversions, and dairy, fruits, cereal, eggs all with little to no discomfort.  I’m drinking a lot of cold milk these days… my mom would be happy!

Best moments: A couple of weeks ago we had our mid-pregnancy anatomy scan. Our baby is perfectly healthy. On a profile scan, he looks a lot like me, which I know will change over time. But, he will be beautiful to me no matter what he looks like. I’ve started feeling him move a lot more these days. Even my partner can feel him, which is just surreal. Growing a human is absolutely amazing! For Christmas, I got those belly buds that I’ve been asking for. I can’t wait to start playing music and chants to my little one… Over New Year’s weekend, my father-in-law helped us set up the crib and I can’t help but smile every time I walk past it. Pretty soon there will be a little baby in the crib! What a blessing!

Looking forward to: The third trimester! Seriously, the second trimester was a major drag. I’m so glad it’s almost over. Time has stood still for me ever since we made the announcement and I suspect things will only get better from here. Our nursery is coming along nicely and I will do a separate post on it once it’s complete. Our friends and family have given us so many items for the baby and I’m so grateful for their generosity. I want to start working from home for a couple of days starting in Feb. It will really help ease our transition and I’m thankful to have such caring and understanding coworkers.

C14e3c88937461596739093850150d9e6.jpgurrent wisdom: I’ve had so much uncertainty in my life for as long as I can remember. My mother used to tell me that she was filled with anxiety when she was pregnant with me because of various personal and social pressures. That uneasiness had stuck with me all throughout my life. It wasn’t until I moved away from everything familiar and embraced my weirdness that I truly felt a change in my existence. I went through a metamorphosis and came out feeling brand spanking new. If you are familiar with video games, the feeling is akin to leveling up. I’ve never been happier or feel more settled with the person I am today and I can’t think of a better time in my life to bring a child into this world…


31 days of Positive Birth Affirmations!

Dear Expectant Mamas,

As we begin a brand new year, let us be reminded of the strength and courage of countless women before us who have birthed healthy, happy and beautiful babies. Let us trust that our bodies know how to deliver this baby just as our bodies knew how to grow this baby. Giving birth is more than just a physical experience. It’s a highly spiritual and emotional transformation and let us allow our bodies the space to do what it’s designed for by teaching our minds to get out of the way. Join me in this daily meditation!

Repeat after me…

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  2. Birth is a safe, wonderful and powerful experience.
  3. I love my baby and I am doing all that is necessary to bring about a healthy birth.
  4. My body has a wide open space for my baby to descend. There is nothing in the way.
  5. My baby will be born healthy and at the perfect time. I will not rush my baby.
  6. I will breathe in slowly and deeply, filling myself with gentleness and relaxation, and blow away any tension and fear.
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  8. I feel the strong waves of labor and know that everything is normal and progressing.
  9. Each contraction produces a healthy, positive pain that I can handle.
  10. I am strong, confident assured, assertive and very feminine. I was born to do this.
  11. I accept this labor as my labor and believe it is the right one for me and for my baby. Whatever happens, I will be at peace.
  12. I am now willing to experience all of my feelings. There is no bad, there is only love.
  13. My body is healthy. My baby is healthy. My body and my baby work in perfect harmony.
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  15. Giving birth is my greatest achievement not my greatest fear.
  16. “Now all you can do is wait. It must be hard for you, but there is a right time for everything. Like the ebb and flow of tides. No one can do anything to change them. When it is time to wait, you must wait.” -Haruki Murakami
  17. My pelvis releases and opens as have those of countless women before me.
  18. I visualize an easy, peaceful, joyous and pleasurable birth.
  19. I am a powerful, loving and creative being. I can do this.
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  21. The day my baby is born will be filled with abundant happiness and joy.
  22. My cervix opens with each contraction and allows my baby to pass through easily
  23. Relax, relax, relax… the more I can relax the easier this will be.
  24. All I need to do is relax and breathe – nothing else.
  25. Pain is weakness leaving the body. With each contraction, I’m getting stronger.
  26. “Muscles send messages to each other. Clenched fists, a tight mouth, a furrowed brow, all send signals to the birth-passage muscles, the very ones that need to be loosened. Opening up to relax these upper-body parts relaxes the lower ones.” -William and Martha Sears
  27. Relaxation, is the key to dilation.
  28. My baby and I are one. I choose to create peace within me and around me.
  29. My body opens, my mind quiets, my baby descends.
  30. I deserve this wonderful birth.
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