Dear Ravina… 

You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. What a journey it has been so far… With less than two months to go, your arrival is starting to come into focus and it is shaping up to be one for the books. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a life filled with so many blessings!

I was looking for a new bassinet for you and finally found one that I think you’re really going to like! Your brother outgrew his bassinet in record time, but I hope you will stay close to me for a bit longer. Over the weekend I went through the baby clothes that your cousin Johanna sent over and boy, do you have a lot of clothes! You’re not going to need much once we get your closet organized. There are quite a few adorable dresses in the pile and we’re going to have so much fun playing dress up! I’m not going to put those silly bows on your head, at least that’s what I’m telling myself now. But, I’m not making any promises either.
This week at your 31 week ultrasound, you were measuring almost 4.5lbs, which makes me giddy. I want nothing more than for you to be a healthy, happy and chubby baby. You’re extremely active at all hours of the day and night. Your doctor says your personality will likely not change once you’re born, which means we are going to have some sleepless nights together. Don’t worry, I’m ready for and looking forward to it. Whatever you need, I’m here for you. I’m a little more experienced now than I was with your brother, still I completely expect you to be your own kind of magic. I can’t wait to swaddle you into a little burrito and listen to your tiny breath against my cheek as we both fall asleep. I can’t wait to feel your wrinkly skin against mine as we cuddle together. I can’t wait to study your features searching for the slightest familial resemblances. I’m getting emotional just thinking about it all… You are going to be spoiled rotten, my little one!

The next couple of months are going to be a whirlwind. There is no telling when you will come into this world so that makes our time together even more special. I want you to know that I have cherished every single minute with you, every kick and somersault, every elbow jab, every hiccup… keep ’em coming, my love. I have been playing music through belly buds sporadically and will try to be more consistent. Last night you really let me know that you enjoyed the music. I haven’t had much of an appetite lately, but you respond to food just like your brother did by doing flips in my stomach. Your brother turned out to be an excellent eater so I hope you will follow suit. Lelan has started noticing my big belly and often comes over to say hi to you. He will give you kisses and put his head on my belly as if he’s trying to listen for a sound. I’m more excited to see your relationship grow than anything else…

Whenever I start losing myself in the what ifs in life, you give me a swift kick in the ribs as if to bring me back to reality. I did not feel this much movement with your brother. I started noticing your flutters much earlier at 12 weeks and your constant energy has been a huge dose of reassurance to me throughout this journey. I know you’re okay. I know you’re tough. You’re my little champ and I know you can handle anything, whether it be a kicking, screaming older brother or an overprotective dad or an overzealous mom. We can all be a bit much at times, you’ll see. But, rest assured knowing that we will each find our groove with you and love you fiercely in every way possible. As my mother would often say, we’re a unit now and together we can handle anything! Stay comfortable for a few more weeks, my love. Until we meet…

Love,
Mommy

Rain

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Tiny as the droplet, you are
against the window pane
Standing in the middle of summer
undisturbed by thunder
I am watching you
watching over
everything that rains
Don’t be afraid to grow
against the grain
Don’t stop reaching for the cracks
Don’t settle for the middle
Don’t stop searching for the shadows
In between the light
Go outside and let it rise
Let it wash you over
Let it swallow you
Like a tide