Be Living Today

Do you? I asked him earnestly, do you believe?
His eyes danced before meeting mine, I do not.
I gently shook my head in disbelief.
He gave me a knowing smile. I believe in the things I know.
A careful answer, I thought. Why so cagey?
Do you have faith? My right brow rose in spite of itself. You must have faith in something?
He threw his head back and laughed softly. Why should I?
I watched him for a minute. He was having fun with me. I wished I could’ve ignored his taunt, but I had stepped into this web. I wanted to know more.
If you only believe in the things you know, how can you know what else might be possible? How can you believe in a future?
I don’t believe in the future. I only believe in the present, he answered plainly.
How limiting I thought, to only believe in the now, to never want more than the present. Even as I thought that I knew deep down this is all any of us ever had. Not even 24 hours is guaranteed to us. We are renters of this fleeting space.
Why does this bother you? He wondered out loud. What do you believe?
I believe in birthdays I blurted out.
We laughed easily at the frank comment. There was an innocent truth to it.
I believe that there is always a light at the end of a tunnel. I believe that anything is possible…and tomorrow is a brand spanking new day. The anticipation fuels me into action and moves me towards my purpose. It is the ultimate motivation.
You are so naive he said gravely, you are a dreamer.
Yes I am, I thought to myself. My dreams are grand. My faith is unwavering and my beliefs… well, I’m a true believer.
You’re going to get seriously hurt one of these days, he said solemnly, watching me intently.
All the experiences of my life which have led me to this precise moment flashed before my eyes like photographs. The good, the bad, the ugly, nothing spared, no stone left unturned.
I believe love is the answer, I whispered, closing my eyes, believe me, I know.
I have nothing to give you, he quickly replied.
You have everything… the words fought me. I couldn’t get them out. They refused to leave my throat.
I took a deep breath, I have faith… in people.
We sat in silence for a long time, staring into each other, waiting for the other to respond. I stared at the rugged features of his beaten face, his molten eyes searching my face for a reaction. I watched his breath quicken and release into a sigh. Finally, after what seemed like eternity, he reached out and took my hand in his without losing his liquid gaze on me.
I’m sorry, I only believe in the things I know. But, I know you are real. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but today I believe in you. Can that be enough?
I felt a tingling run down my spine as we held hands. Faith is like electricity, I thought, you can’t see it until a light bulb goes off.
Do you? I asked him again, do you believe?
His eyes locked into mine. I do… for now.

One thought on “Be Living Today

  1. Chandra

    “Forever is composed of nows.” This is my believe and it makes me think twice every minute before I commit to something. It lead me to peaceful life 🙂

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